Now John....don't go telling this young lady to disrespect her parents. :)
Limits are a good thing and will help you learn to be responsible later on in life. It sounds to me like you already well on your way. I always like seeing your posts as it is very refreshing to see someone your age into any thing old, especially drums of course.
I would agree with Vintagemore's sage advice. Respectfully ask your parents for permission to try these out for a bit and decide which kit to keep. That way, they know that you know the boundaries and they will probably also understand that you would like to make an informed decision. I would keep the snare with the kit as that will increase the value.
In the future, unless you just are in the mood to flip some kits, (nothing wrong with that of course) start focusing on snare drums and cymbals. There are tons out there and a drummer can never have too many of either. Each will have a fairly unique voice.
Ok, "never" is probably not a good term to use, but you get the idea.
