OK. Here's my :2Cents:
I buy and sell both quite a bit on eBay. I live in a rural area and have no percussion "superstores" to deal with. So, when I'm needing parts, I turn to eBay (I do have several drum-guys like me that I occasionally call before I go to eBay).
As for buying, I figure out what I'd like to pay for an item then when I find the item, look at the shipping charges, and bid accordingly. And, unlike a lot of buyers, I usually put my "best" bid in early and DON'T get caught up in the "bidding frenzie." (I like my buyers to get into that, but I don't let myself get into it.) Yes, I've lost a lot of auctions by one bid... but, I know what I can afford based upon whatever project(s) I've got going and like I said, bid accordingly.
IF I think the shipping is outrageous, I usually don't bother with that seller.
As for selling... I TRY to be as up-front and reasonable as possible. Most of the time I've got the item packed up and ready to ship BEFORE I list the item. Then I add the dimensions of the box(es) and the weight, and let the eBay shipping calculator take it from there. What it comes up with is what I send out to a winning bidder in the invoice. Most of the time when it comes time to actually print the label it will actually come out a small percentage LESS than the calcualtor calculated -- I don't issue any refunds unless it's off quite a bit, and keep the small "extra" amount to "help" defray the packing costs. Here I go again: I hope that all made sense!
I did have a couple of BIN's up within the last few weeks where I got a couple of complaints about my shipping charges. In those cases, however, the BIN's where for single lugs, and I would clearly state that the shipping charges (USPS small flat fate box) would be the same for 1 lug or up to 8 (or maybe 10). Yes, for one lug $5 may seem a little steep, but NOT for quantities. Yes, I was partly trying to get buyers to buy more than 1. But it also came down to tracking info and delivery confirmation which is included with the flat rate price. And, no, I'm not going to just slip a lug into an envelope and not be able to track it or have delivery confirmation. Been there, done that, lost money...
Now, I tried something this Christmas season that did boost my sales quite a bit: I went the "FREE SHIPPING" route. On both big and small items. But know this: I ADJUSTED my starting bids to reflect the free shipping -- in other words, the starting bid I used was my bottom price I was willing to take on the item + shipping to the "far-thest" US destination (I tried to say "****hest" but you can see what the filter did). That way I come out OK even if an item only sold for the starting bid. And depending upon the "zone" that it shipped to, on some items I came out better. But, in other words, I was doing for the buyer what I do as a buyer.
Anyway... got a computer beeping at me, so I'd better get back to work...
Bill